Holiday Shopping

I have no money. I have a family with three kids. I have a house and two cars. I have a dog. Once again, I have no money.

This is the main reason I do not get thrills from the shopping madness that grips so many others. Other reasons might include my general dislike of people in crowds. Nearly every tragic event in history takes place in crowds. The Kennedy assassinations, the bombing of Pearl Harbor, Lady Ga Ga Concerts- always among crowds.

Try to think of a national tragedy that took place with a guy sitting at home with a book.

Also I am basically through with the idea of trying to please others or myself with some goofy purchases. I think folks would serve themselves better if they all rushed out in mobs to the shelters and soup kitchens to volunteer their time the day after Thanksgiving. Take their money to the Red Cross bucket. That would be a crowd worth walking among.

Renaissance Fairs, Oh My

I love going to period history festivals. There, I said it! I love these people. They are fearlessly embracing what can only be called a lifestyle. They dress in costumes, speak in phony accents to strangers, and walk about through some field as if it were the most natural thing to do.

Be aware; many of these costumed citizens have created their own garb, and probably invested small fortunes in time and talent getting the details just right. And yet I just can't get past it. Forgive me, but not a one of them is datable. Sure there's cleavage enough to embarrass a night club owner. But then there's the rest. I will refrain from the details, but seriously, would it kill someone to floss?

There are people, I found out, who get the creeps from costume fairs. I don't especially understand that one, but I can see where some of the creepiness can seep into a phobia.

I don't sound much like a defender of the lifestyle, but I kid out of love. There are some courageous folks in those fields.

Good Morrow, Good People!

A Beautiful World

Thanks to Colin Hay for this blog.

I like the Fall air, but not what's on TV
I like to feel the chill at night, but it's good to have my wife warming me.
I like my Corgi's piercing bark, but why does he bark at me?

It's a beautiful world.

I like to brew my own coffee; it's stronger than most you buy
Coffee is about flavors and complexity, not syrups and foam
I drink the coffee of other lands whenever I roam.

It's a beautiful world.

Ten Years of Fatherhood

It's been ten years since my first child was born. I would like to say I have become a great father, but I think this is just one of those jobs that you keep on doing without becoming great. You can be good once in a while, but never great. Great is reserved for the mom, who rightly deserves the praise.

I thought about writing about my own dad here today, but that would take more time than what I have to give right now. Another blog for the future.... I can't believe how much love I have for my kids. It just hardly seems possible when you don't have children to realize that your heart will grow enough for the love you need to share with them.

Nora has been the source of tremendous pride so far these ten years. I know her best is far in the future. Taking on type 1 diabetes like she has for the past seven years has been amazing to see. I can hardly predict or imagine what the next ten years will bring for all of us in this party of five.

It should be fun.

Blackberry Buzz-Kill

I don't say the H-word very often, but I think I hate my wife's blackberry. To be clear, it is the never-ending stream of -bzzz- interruptions to everything we do that -bzzz- bothers me -bzzzz-. I don't know who -bzzzz- keeps -bzzzz- oh, just forget -bzzz- it.

Bzzz.

New Endeavors

My most excellent wife has taken on a new experience. She will be working for a small company which investigates fires. Forensic work is very cool, as anyone can tell by turning on a TV for half an hour. I am so impressed with her drive and dedication. She really is an inspiration.

I will, however, have to rethink my plans for retirement now. The old potato chip bag behind the switch plate trick will have to be put away.

I have a book that I wrote in a college class years ago. I may just have to dust it off, rewrite it, shop it around, and see what comes of it. I have thought about this for a while, but fear of failure kept it down. My wife demonstrates to me daily that new challenges should be embraced.

I will have to give it a try.

About the Size of It

Knowing that my gorgeous wife had just been out shopping for new jeans, I asked, just out of curiosity, "what size are you wearing now?" Before you curse my lineage or poison my quinoa, I was doing a good thing. She has been working steadily for a long time now, training for a 105-mile bike ride in Death Valley for type-1 diabetes research. She has been transforming herself. I considered this before asking, figuring it might be a good build-up moment. What could go wrong?

Although I will not write the number here, I will enter into the main reason for writing today. Female clothing sizes are absolutely meaningless and without reason or merit. The number attached to a pair of jeans for a woman has about the same value as the contents of a Chinese buffet's fortune cookie.

This is what I learned from the conversation. The numbers have no actual reference to the physical world. There are generally consistent ways of numbering the sizes, but the variations are important. If the clothing is more expensive, you may be able to wear a smaller size, according to the number, at least. If you are shopping for bargain pants, you might be surprised by a larger size than you expected to see. In this nefarious system, there is actually a size zero.

I imagined that there might also be a negative size, which, if you are able to wear it, actually transports you to Bizarro World. "Me wear minus two dress, go to Bizarro Club now -pop!-"

Happy shopping!