Saturday, March 5, 2011
If your dog could only speak one word, what would it be? This question was posed to me recently by a brilliantly funny friend who always keeps company with brilliant dogs. My dog, I suspect would have a single word similar to the one that got Ralphie in trouble in "A Christmas Story." Yeah, the one that wasn't fudge.
It isn't so much a question of his manners or civility. He just is mostly on the edge of exasperation with us humans in his life. He doesn't do calm very well. Most of his breed are this way.
He, my dog, is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi. This means he has one burning desire in life- to bring into one confined space, all living creatures. We do not comply with his wishes.
He has a list of things that annoy him, or, rather, his people have generated a list. It grows constantly. The fact that he is nearly 13 does not make him more agreeable. So, without further meandering, here's the list (annotated).
INANIMATE OBJECTS WHICH MAKE NOISE
LIVING THINGS THAT MAKE NOISE
UNIDENTIFIED NOISES FROM OUTSIDE
PEOPLE ENTERING THE HOUSE
PEOPLE LEAVING THE HOUSE
KIDS PLAYING IN UNSAFE WAYS
DOGS HE DOESN'T KNOW
DOGS HE IS FAMILIAR WITH
BICYCLE PUMP, simply touching it, because offensive noises will ensue
DOORBELL, disembodied herald of visitors must die
In case you think he is always grumpy, there are things which make Conner happy.
NOISES OF FOOD PREPARATION
See, all very well balanced.