Saturday, March 5, 2011

Dog's Life


If your dog could only speak one word, what would it be? This question was posed to me recently by a brilliantly funny friend who always keeps company with brilliant dogs. My dog, I suspect would have a single word similar to the one that got Ralphie in trouble in "A Christmas Story." Yeah, the one that wasn't fudge.

It isn't so much a question of his manners or civility. He just is mostly on the edge of exasperation with us humans in his life. He doesn't do calm very well. Most of his breed are this way.

He, my dog, is a Pembroke Welsh Corgi. This means he has one burning desire in life- to bring into one confined space, all living creatures. We do not comply with his wishes.

He has a list of things that annoy him, or, rather, his people have generated a list. It grows constantly. The fact that he is nearly 13 does not make him more agreeable. So, without further meandering, here's the list (annotated).

INANIMATE OBJECTS WHICH MAKE NOISE
LIVING THINGS THAT MAKE NOISE
UNIDENTIFIED NOISES FROM OUTSIDE
PEOPLE ENTERING THE HOUSE
PEOPLE LEAVING THE HOUSE
STORMS
MUSIC
KIDS PLAYING IN UNSAFE WAYS
DOGS HE DOESN'T KNOW
DOGS HE IS FAMILIAR WITH
BICYCLE PUMP, simply touching it, because offensive noises will ensue
CARS
TRUCKS
DOORBELL, disembodied herald of visitors must die

In case you think he is always grumpy, there are things which make Conner happy.

FOOD
NOISES OF FOOD PREPARATION
PEOPLE EATING
THE LEASH

See, all very well balanced.

Good boy!

4 comments:

Desperate Housemommy said...

Oh, I get this.

I SO get this.

I used to have a Corgi mix. Nodding my head in agreement with the herding thing.

Now? I have a Weimaraner. A lanky, silver, dumber-than-soup Weimaraner. She is nearly 11 years old, and, in her golden years, she constantly seeks the companionship of my groom. Her one word?

"Daddy." *sigh*

aablythe said...

Awesome, Sue. Weimaraners are typically losing out to soup on standardized tests, I think. They are edging out ashtrays now.

Unknown said...

I'm giggling at that list. So simple, yet so complex! So many different noises- some loved, some hated. We need to get a dog, but then I read posts about dogs and wonder if we really, REALLY do want one. Our sons need a dog, though, don't they? *sigh*

aablythe said...

Kelley, I am pretty sure the main difference between Heaven and Hell is that Heaven allows dogs, and Hell only has caged birds.